I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
