the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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