Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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