Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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