it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
