JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize