yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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