Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
