dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
