I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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