Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
