when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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