Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
