No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
