This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
