I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he fucked my hip out of place.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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