So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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