North Korea, Best Korea!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
