Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
