Are we in a gay sports bar?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
