oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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