too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
