That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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