so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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