youre lurking in front of me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
