woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize