she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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