i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
