We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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