yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
