You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
