No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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