And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
