i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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