brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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