I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
3pm strippers are depressing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
