I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize