piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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