Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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