Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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