I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
