Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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