planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
