you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
