Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
