Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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