My balls are so social today.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
