Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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