A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
