piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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