Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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