Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
