i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
