I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
